Third Child Syndrome?

This is Jacob.

Eating breakfast this morning.

Microwave popcorn.

Just keepin' it real.

Galatians 6:2

Bear one another’s burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ.
New American Standard Bible (NASB)

Sometimes life is just hard.

The past couple weeks that seems to be the case for many of those I care deeply about.

Several friends have shared with me that they are struggling in their marriages, some more seriously than others.

Another friend is in conflict with a friend from her church.

More than one family is dealing with unemployment and all the stress that comes with it.

Mark's beautiful, nineteen-year-old cousin, Taylor, lost her courageous, almost five year battle with brain cancer.  Taylor's precious mom, Kathleen received news that her twin brother had died the evening of Taylor's funeral.

Unthinkable.

Unbelievable.

Unimaginable.

Maybe you are in a similar situation or facing a different, but equally impossible situation this very moment.

I pray God would move in a way that is unlike anything you have ever experienced and when He does, you recognize it for the unthinkable, unbelievable, unimaginable victory it is.

He has already overcome the world.

The. World.

May that truth sink in and bring you comfort and peace.

John 16:33
I (Jesus) have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.
New Living Translation (NLT)

Random

They say human beings can adapt to almost anything.

This morning, with the temperature at 19°, I stood in my flip flops pumping $100 worth of gas into my 4WD SUV and realized they may very well be right.

Wednesday Highlights

Just a peek into my day today here in North Dakota.

First of all, six-thirty is painfully early when you have spent the night before indulging.  No, not that kind of indulging.  This kind . . .

Ummmmhmmmm....we are late to the party, but thanks to recently acquired Netflix streaming I have discovered Friday Night Lights.  "Just one more" has been uttered too many times to count and this was not the first time I had stayed up far too late into the night morning watching the Panthers.  

Darn you Tim Riggins.

Anyway, today is Wednesday and that means we have muffins and smoothies for breakfast....yes, I am a total freak and have a breakfast schedule.  I had made Chocolate Chip Banana Muffins for the past few weeks and the kids were ready for a change, so today I made Doughnut Muffins.  It was a good call...

Pardon my bite . . .

Satisfied that the kids were sufficiently sugared up nourished, I dropped them off at school and came home to finally enjoy a cup of coffee.  Sadly, it was further delayed by a deep and lengthy conversation with our drywall guy about the pros and cons of football and various other contact sports among kids.  By the time I bid him adieu until tomorrow and poured my FIRST cup of coffee, it was 9:30.  

The good news is that we actually have a drywall guy and he is actually finishing our 5th bedroom so I will soon have a GUEST ROOM!!  That means we have a cozy little space for any of you brave enough to venture to North Dakota for a visit!  I am having so much fun decorating!  In fact, the bedding for the room came today.

The room is going to be shades of gray with turquoise accents.  I got a GREAT deal on Amy Butler bedding at an online designer discount store RueLaLa.  Lots of high end stuff at low prices.  Check it out.

Yesterday, I found a skinny brown lamp on clearance at the Walmart for $6.  I bought it and a can of turquoise spray paint and gave it a makeover this afternoon.  Not too bad!

I think it is going to be adorable with the $5 Walmart shade I am dressing up with some matching turquoise ric rac.  I LOVE ric rac!

While painting the lamp, I let Lucy out on the back deck.  She loves to sunbathe out there almost every day.  As I came in, I heard a racket coming from the deck and worried she was trying to escape.  She wasn't.  She had taken it upon herself to lick every greasy morsel from the grate of the grill.  Don't worry, it wasn't hot!

Nice face, huh?  I can't get that filthy mess off and I am still trying to figure out how she got those big lines across her head.

Next on the agenda was picking Jacob up from school and driving him to hockey practice.  The pick-up line at his school is horrendous, hell on earth, full of self-centered people who don't think the rules apply to them a great opportunity for me to grow in my love, patience, and compassion for others.  Well, it always involves a lot of sitting and waiting so I usually try to take something with me to do in the car.  I worked on a new knitting project today.  It's just a dishcloth, but I am liking the pattern.

I was home for all of 30 minutes before getting a call to head back across town to pick up the older two kids from volleyball and football practice.  

It's now 5:45 and I don't know what's for dinner.  Breakfast?  

Still to come this evening: a piano lesson, a drum lesson, a hockey practice pick-up.

Oh, yeah, and a date with the Dillon Panthers.  

I'll never learn . . .

The Long Version

One year ago, we were a family divided.  Mark, Katie, and Jacob were living in a hotel room in North Dakota while Sam and I were trying to get our house sold and finish out the school year in Zionsville.  It was a tough time for all of us.  I know people thought we were crazy. Frequently, I agreed with them!  We were nervous and sad, but also felt certain that we were doing the right thing.





Unbelievably, only a year later we are divided again, but this time it is our hearts that are torn.  We will be returning to Indianapolis in the VERY near future.  As difficult and scary as it was to move to North Dakota, the decision to return to Indianapolis has been gut-wrenching.  To everyone’s surprise (mine most of all) we really like it here!   Again, I am pretty sure that those close to us think we are crazy.  Not for moving back, but because it has been such an agonizing decision.  On paper, Indianapolis beats out Dickinson every day of the week.


But what makes sense on paper doesn’t always make sense in the heart.

Please don't misunderstand; there are things about living here that drive me absolutely crazy.  Train whistles blowing at all hours of the night, the sounds and smells from the cattle stockyard on Tuesdays and Thursdays, crazy-expensive groceries, and a serious lack of restaurants could all top the list.  And don't even get me started on the school pick-up/drop-off lines!

But none of those things can overshadow the blessings we have experienced living here.

Sam has been embraced by a close-knit school community that has welcomed him with open arms.  It has been pure joy to see him grow and flourish in such a supportive environment.  For the first time, he realizes it is okay to do well not only in sports and music, but also academically. True confidence has replaced the shaky trying-to-seem-confident-but-I-am-pretty-sure-I-can’t-measure-up bravado he once wore.





Katie has remembered who she really is.  A year of living here has soothed the hurt and eased the pain of a previously difficult school situation.  She has rediscovered the spunk and sass that make her so special and she has tried things she never would have before.  She now plays softball and volleyball.  She has learned to sew and how to play guitar.  She has learned what true friends look like.  She is leaving here with a new maturity and understanding of her value.






Jacob has had the unique pleasure of being enfolded into a family that is not his own.  He has experienced what it means to have friends that are the “family you choose” and the comfort they can be when your own family is far away.  He, too, has been able to participate in a variety of activities that would probably not have been possible had we stayed in Zionsville.  He now plays baseball and hockey and the guitar and even gave Cub Scouts another try.




And all three of the kids have learned that the size of your house has NOTHING to do with the size of your heart.  They have witnessed and been the recipients of selflessness and generosity and compassion.  As a quick example, Sam has been attending a Catholic school and at the beginning of Lent, the students were headed over to the church for a time of confession.  One of Sam’s friends realized that this might be somewhat awkward for his Protestant friend and asked Sam what he was going to do. He didn’t really have any ideas and so his friend suggested that he talk to the priest and then went with him to speak to the priest before the mass began.  Seriously, this may not sound like much, but what 14 year old boy thinks of something like that?

And, as for Mark and me?  We've had some learning experiences, too.  And we have definitely been shaped and molded by our time here.  But, that, my friends, is another story for another day.  Let’s just say we are eating some spicy ice cream these days!

Just the Facts

This is just going to be the Cliffs Notes version of the last month six weeks.  I have been doing a lot of soul searching and there will be much rehashing of this decision in the future, but for now, I thought you all might be wondering just how this whole move back to Indiana came about.

Back in March, Mark received a call about a possible position back in Indianapolis.  IF it hadn’t been something he has always been interested in doing nothing more would have come of it.  BUT, he began a conversation about the position and his qualifications and interest.  After a couple of phone calls it progressed into a full blown offer.

Which we turned down.
And went on with our lives at peace with our decision.

Until they called back.
And sweetened the deal.

At which point we had an unbelievably difficult choice to make.  We truly like it here.  And our kids like it here.  And we just moved here.  And we had almost survived our first winter.  And it hadn’t been that bad.  And, and, and....the list went on and on.

So we talked.  We prayed.  We cried (okay, that was just me).  We begged God to give us direction.  We talked.  We prayed.  We cried (again, just me).   We had others pray for us.  We actually wrote out a pros and cons list!  We wrestled and agonized over this decision more than probably any other in our entire marriage and then took the job.

End of story.

But it’s really not the end of the story.  It’s just the end of one chapter and the beginning of another.  And while I am so sad for this one to be coming to an end I do have hope in the chapters that have yet to be written.  And through the process I grow closer to the Author and continue to place my trust in His loving hands.

Jeremiah 29:11  “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

This is the verse that we clung to on our way to North Dakota and this is the verse we will cling to on our departure.

Stay Tuned

More information coming soon.....promise!

A Norman Rockwell Moment

So our family is enjoying a rare, wonderful, quiet Sunday morning.  We all slept in until about 8:00 which was a great treat.  Our family snuggled together in the family room in front of the Christmas tree.  We shared memories of Christmases gone by and hopes for the Christmases yet to come.  There was laughing and joking and sweetness to the conversation.  The dog was curled quietly on the floor next to Sam.  I enjoyed a relaxing second cup of coffee with my newly made vanilla sugar.  


Before long the kids were getting hungry and a unanimous vote was taken that Mark should head out into the cold to bring back some doughnuts for breakfast.  The minute he left the house, the kids jumped up to wrap presents.  In an instant the calm became a flurry of activity.  

Now, to appreciate the rest of this wonderful holiday story, you need to know that Lucy (our yellow lab) is notorious for eating things she shouldn’t. She loves paper-napkins, kleenex, paper towels.  She has eaten more socks than I can count.  Toys, crayons, rocks, pencils, and even a thumbtack have made their way through her digestive tract.  Sometimes she even resorts to drinking toilet water to wash the forbidden items down.  We have avoided surgery so far and would really like to keep it that way so we keep a pretty close eye on her and keep lots of doors shut.


About three minutes into the wrapping chaos, I realized the dog was gone and went looking for her. 


I found her.


In the basement bathroom.


Drinking from the toilet.


Which unbeknownst to me had been stopped up for several days and ignored by its primary user.


I thought I was going to be sick she smelled so bad.  


She went straight to her crate while I found the child who apparently has never heard of a plunger.  


At this point, he inspected his bathroom and decided it smelled really bad.


His solution was to spray half a bottle of cologne in the bathroom.


It did not improve the situation.


The dog required a bath immediately.  


Inside.  Because it was about 3 degrees.  


Which, of course, left our house smelling like a wet dog running around an Abercrombie and Fitch store.


Ah, the smells of Christmas!


Amy

Confession is Good for the Soul, but Cheesy Grits are Better

Maybe I am rebelling against the anti-carb establishment.

Maybe it is my way of adapting to a more simple way of life.

Maybe it is a deep longing for comfort in the midst of 4:30 sunsets and way below freezing temperatures.

Maybe moving so far north is causing me a subconscious need to reconnect with my southern roots.

Maybe it is just that they are so durn (Is that how you spell it Aunt Margie?) good.

I lie awake at night trying to get to the bottom of all this.

But to no avail.

The facts remain the same.

I am obsessed with Cheesy Grits.

They really are a little bit of heaven here on earth.

They go with everything.

They can be eaten morning, noon and night.

With eggs, toast and bacon.

With pot roast.

With saucy shrimp.

With meatballs.

With beef bourguignon.

In a bowl.

On the grill.

Fried up in some butter.....


SEND HELP NOW


Exodus 20:3-4  You shall have no other gods before me. You shall not make for yourself an image in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below.

Surely this doesn't apply to cheesy grits, does it?

I am a Dirty Gym Bag

As I wrote this post yesterday, I really wanted it to be a fun and light hearted look at the reality of my day to day life...dishes, homework, budget, dirty laundry.  It took me a long time to finish because I kept feeling pulled to take the post in a different direction.  

Being new at this blogging thing, I was unsure of what to do.  Should I scrap the whole thing?  Ignore that still, small, voice?  In typical perfectionist style, I chose to do nothing.  

Until I remembered the commitment I made to listen to that still, small voice.  What follows is what has been whispering in my ear.

I am a dirty gym bag. 

Aren’t we all?  We all carry around hurt, guilt, shame, unforgiveness, unhealthy relationship patterns, selfishness, unwise coping mechanisms, jealousy, anger and assorted other dirty laundry if you will.

I have a tendency to lug all my dirty laundry around with me until I can barely take another step.  The zipper is straining and the pockets are overflowing.  I may even be dropping things as I make my way through life.  They spill out in irritation with those around me, stubbornness, and a feeling that I am owed something.  

God wants to meet me in the laundry room.  He longs to relieve me of the heavy load I am carrying.  The longer the bag sits without being attended to, the worse the mess is going to be.  

John 3:20 says, “Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that their deeds will be exposed.” 

I have to be willing to unzip the bag and expose it to the light.

He will patiently unpack my bag one dirty item at a time.  He isn’t scared or surprised by what is there.  He already knew and He would have been happy to do a few loads of wash during the season instead of a heavy-duty load all at once.

So, let’s unpack the dirty football bag again, but this time with an eye on how the bag is just like us.

Some of the things in our bag just do not belong in there.  At all.  They need to go straight to the trash.  Ephesians 4:31(NIV) says, “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.”  Some of these things fit me as well as a comfortable old t-shirt.  I’ve had them for a long time.  Even if they are nasty and mildewed they are hard to let go of because they are so familiar.  If I leave them in the bag, I WILL wear them again, even if I know they are gross.   Better to just throw them away and not be tempted to ever put them on again.

Other items in our bag may be things that we have outgrown as we have matured.  There comes a time when we have to accept that they just don’t fit anymore and they need to be put away.   1Corinthians 13:11(NIV) “When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.”  It is time to grow up and replace childish ways with those of adulthood.

The rest of the things in the football bag were able to be redeemed with a lot of Spray and Wash and scrubbing.  Did I get all the stains out?  No.  But, they are still usable.  

A lot of the dirty laundry we carry is also still usable.  Our hurts and struggles have a purpose.  Isaiah 61:3(KJV) “...to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified.”  I love the way the King James version words this.  God wants to take our dirty, mildewed, nasty stuff, clean it up, and turn it into something beautiful for our growth and for His glory.  


Lastly, remember what WASN’T in the football bag?  Protection.  

We may not think we need protection, but there is an enemy out there who is much more determined than a lineman to take us down.  We need to make sure we are protected every time we step on the field.  

Ephesians 6:10-12 (The Message) “God is strong, and he wants you strong. So take everything the Master has set out for you, well-made weapons of the best materials. And put them to use so you will be able to stand up to everything the Devil throws your way. This is no afternoon athletic contest that we'll walk away from and forget about in a couple of hours. This is for keeps, a life-or-death fight to the finish against the Devil and all his angels.”

I don’t know about you, but I need to visit the laundry room a little more often.  

Oh, yeah, and, don’t forget your cup.

The Scariest Moment of October......

• was NOT October 31st with a trip to the local haunted farm and two of the three kids trick or treating without adult supervision. 
• wasn’t the BLIZZARD warning one county north of us.  
• wasn’t the $322 trip to the Walmart for a week’s worth of groceries.  
• wasn’t even the moment that Katie came home from school and announced that she and some punk named Ryan are “GOING OUT”.  For the record I am sure he is a very nice young man...but if he is “going out” with my 6th grade daughter, he’s a punk.

No, the scariest moment this month was when this was deposited in my laundry room.

It had been so long since I had seen this bag that I hardly recognized it.  I was (somewhat) politely informed that the contents needed to be laundered and returned to school the following day.

I was afraid, very afraid.  Mostly because I hadn't seen the bag or its contents for one very long football season.

I examined the bag tentatively.  If someone had been watching the scene play out in a horror moving they would have been yelling, “Don’t open the bag! Don’t open the bag!”  But, of course, I opened the bag.  I couldn’t help it.  In an attempt to delay the inevitable, I started with the side pockets.

Four empty bottles....”Not too bad” I thought to myself.

And then I caught a glimpse of this.

Umm, helloooooooooo?  You paid $2.12 for a 32 ounce bottle of soda???  Are you kidding me?  Whose son are you?  Haven’t I raised you any better than this?  You could buy 4 liters of soda for that price at the Walmart!

Once the shock of the overpriced gas station soda wore off, I moved on to the main compartment of the gym bag.

It wasn’t any prettier.


No, the team does not wear pink football pants.  But, do you see it?  The pink? Do you know what that is?  Some sort of pink mildew.   Eeeeeeeewwwww!

And just as the ingenue in the horror movies, I predictably continued down the dark path.

Okay, these don’t look too bad.....until I remember how much I paid for them just three short months ago.  And realize that they will never be worn again because even though they are a size 13, by next season, they will be too small and have to be replaced by an equally expensive, short-lived pair of cleats.

Oh, wait, what is that?  UnderArmour?  Hmmm....that shirt is black and was only worn on the coldest of days so maybe it will be okay.

And then I remember....we live in North Dakota now and have already had more than a few “coldest of days” including TWO snowfalls, one of which occurred when it was technically still summer.

“What on earth is that?" I think to myself.

I know what it looks like, but don’t worry, it is not an athletic supporter for a cup.  In fact, that is the one item that was NOT in the football bag.  No, the boy has decided to risk MY future grandchildren in favor of being looking cool and tough. Apparently the motto of the 8th grade football team is not something inspiring like:

Keep Your Eye on the Prize,

No Regrets,

Iron Sharpens Iron,

Commitment to Excellence,

Guard the Yard,

We Make Nightmares Come to Reality,

 We Break Ours, So We Can Kick Yours, or

All You Got. All the Time.



No, they have exchanged the traditional for the truly stupid.

Real Men Don’t Wear Cups


I digress.  Back to the football bag.  And what exactly is that messy tangle of white, grey, brown, pink?

Yep. A nasty t-shirt with the sleeves cut off covered in that same pink mold and what looks like tread marks.   This was worn under his pads EVERY SINGLE DAY OF THE SEASON FOR PRACTICE!  Uggghhhhhhhh.... straight to the trash.


Thankfully, that brought me to the bottom of the bag.

I have never seen my washing machine on such a long cycle before.  Yes, two hours and fifteen minutes.  And I am not even going to mention the amount of Spray and Wash I used.

His punishment was having to sniff his own pants.

Of course, all was forgiven when he flashed this smile at me.

*For a bit of a different take on this same subject, check out tomorrow's post!

Mondays are for Music!!

I came across a book not too long ago that explores the idea of spiritual temperaments.  The author, Gary Thomas, describes a spiritual temperament as the way you most naturally express your relationship with Jesus.  His book goes on to identify and examine nine different spiritual temperaments.  

• Naturalists love God in the out of doors.  They see God most clearly in nature.
• Sensates love God using their senses.  Many Old Testament ceremonies involved all five senses.
• Traditionalists love God through ritual and symbol.
• Ascetics love God in solitude.  They prefer to connect to God alone.
• Caregivers love God by loving others.
• Activists love God through confrontation and fighting for change and social justice.
• Contemplatives love God through adoration.  They connect to Him by loving Him purely.
• Intellectuals love God with their minds.  They connect to God when studying His word in detail and seek to understand not just experience God.
• Enthusiasts love God with celebration.  They feel most connected to God when singing, dancing and worshipping with others.

As with most attempts to define personality traits, we are more than likely a combination of two of more of these spiritual temperaments.  

Not surprisingly, I wear my main temperament on my sleeve, so to speak.  If you have ever set foot in my house you already know my spiritual temperament.  I am most definitely an enthusiast.  We have music going in our house almost every waking moment.  It is the one consistent way that I ALWAYS feel close to the heart of God.  

I have a LONG, seemingly infinite list of music that draws me into His presence and one of my greatest joys is sharing it with others!  :)  

So, I would like to share with you a song that I have been listening to lately.  It is actually a cover of a Sheryl Crow song, but I LOVE it and hope you enjoy it!

What about you?  Which of these descriptions fits you?  How does that play out in your life?

          

Our Newest Toy

Do you know how expensive it is to move?  Let me tell you.  The first estimate to move our stuff from Zionsville to Dickinson was over $14,000!!!   I told them not to bother following up because there was no possible way we were going to spend that much to move.  I think he believed me, too, because I never heard from him again.  As soon as he left, I walked around the house and took pictures of everything that I didn't love to post for sale on craigslist. I found a freight company that would haul our stuff for a fraction of the cost. They estimated our load and sent what they thought was the appropriately sized trailer. Despite immediate concerns about the size, we optimistically loaded that baby up.  I really thought we had a reasonable chance of getting our whole house in a 26' trailer.

I was wrong.

As the movers filled the trailer, it became obvious that it was not all going to fit.  So we had to choose.  I had to walk the house and make instantaneous decisions about what would make the cut and what wouldn't.  What didn't make the cut?  Our lawnmower, the ping pong table, bookshelves, filing cabinets, our king size bed, the kid-sized locker unit, the grill, and more things than I can even remember now.  It all had to go.  After round two of craigslist, multiple trips to Goodwill and our storage unit (AKA Mom's basement), the house was empty.  It was a rather bittersweet feeling.  Yes, I had purged a lot and had a wad of cash to show for it, but it also felt like I was leaving so much behind.

Fast forward a few months and it turns out I can make pretty good snap decisions.

Lawnmower?  We have a new construction house and the grass is just starting to grow.  We won't need to replace it until the spring/summer.

King size bed?  It was lumpy and uncomfortable anyway.  And there is no way it would fit in our new, cozy master bedroom.  After 18 years of king-size sleeping, we are now the proud owners of a queen size bed.  Can I tell you how much difference that 16" makes?  People are becoming concerned about the black eyes and bruises from elbows thrown in the middle of the night.  Joking, people!  Well, about the injuries....there have actually been a few dream time elbow incidents.

Ping pong table, filing cabinet, lockers, etc.  We downsized 1500 sq. feet. There is no room for those things anyway.

The grill?  I haven't given that Weber propane thing a second thought.  And here is why~

My friends, I have replaced it with one of the greatest creations on God's green earth.

A Big Green Egg

I don't even have the words to explain to you how much I love this thing.  I really think it might be bordering on some sort of unhealthy attachment on my part.

It uses natural charcoal.

It smokes.

It sears.

It bakes.

It rolls itself into the house and cleans the kitchen after dinner.  Ok, that may be a bit of an exaggeration,  but you get the point.

I wish you could taste some of the food I have been able to make on this thing. Burgers, steaks, pork chops, tuna steaks, chicken, ribs, corn, praline peaches, pineapple, potatoes.

Oh, and I have NEVER had marshmallows roasted to such perfection.  I would love to have a picture, but they never last long enough!

I enjoy planning meals again.

I look forward to cooking dinner.

Mark wants to cook.  He gets irritated if I beat him to it.

The neighbors are begging for invitations to dinner.

The kids brag to their friends about how good the food is at our house.

No one wants to go out to eat anymore.

I am not even kidding.  It is that good.

It makes sleeping in a queen size bed worth it.

A Word of Reassurance

Apparently this post has caused more than a small amount of concern about my emotional well-being.  I want to reassure you all that I have not spiraled into deep depression.  I was just being honest.  I have come to a point in my life where I am done pretending.   I have always been an open book, but perhaps with turning 40, that has reached a new level.  

And sometimes life is just hard.   

For all of us.  

One of the benefits of being so open is that in return I get great support and encouragement from others when I need it.  In fact, within a day of writing THAT POST I was encouraged by three different people!  They shared understanding and wisdom that really helped me clarify what I am feeling.

First, from my mom. 

She is very wise, and I am pretty sure that she is more unhappy about this move than I am.  Still, she was able to share with me her experience as a young newlywed who had moved so very far away from home.  She was sad and lonely and cried every day for at least six months.  But, THERE WAS NOWHERE ELSE SHE WANTED TO BE.  It was tough being so far away, but she would not have had it any other way.  This is exactly how I feel.  Yes, this is hard, but there is still nowhere I would rather be.   

Second, a dear friend made a very casual comment about motherhood; sometimes, watching our children bloom and flourish IS enough.  

She is so right and I am thrilled and extremely proud of the growth and success my children are having.  They are ALL doing beautifully.  None of them would return to Zionsville.  NOT ONE.  Incredible.

And lastly, my forever friend and I had a deeper conversation about the way God sometimes chooses to work in our lives.  I have a tendency to imagine and hold on to the way I think things should look.  God has blessed and continues to bless our family but it rarely looks the way I expected.  It is not in the pretty little package that I envisioned, but that is okay.  Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross wasn't a pretty little package either, was it?

I AM sad and lonely and homesick.  But, I am also CONFIDENT that I will adjust.   

I am EXCITED about the growth and maturity I am seeing in my kids that I wasn’t seeing in Zionsville.  

And, I am EXPECTANT and HOPEFUL about the ways that God is going to use this move to continue making me more like Jesus.   

I hope you can all rest a bit easier now.  

Phil 1:6 (The Message) There has never been the slightest doubt in my mind that the God who started this great work in you would keep at it and bring it to a flourishing finish on the very day Christ Jesus appears.