A Word of Reassurance

Apparently this post has caused more than a small amount of concern about my emotional well-being.  I want to reassure you all that I have not spiraled into deep depression.  I was just being honest.  I have come to a point in my life where I am done pretending.   I have always been an open book, but perhaps with turning 40, that has reached a new level.  

And sometimes life is just hard.   

For all of us.  

One of the benefits of being so open is that in return I get great support and encouragement from others when I need it.  In fact, within a day of writing THAT POST I was encouraged by three different people!  They shared understanding and wisdom that really helped me clarify what I am feeling.

First, from my mom. 

She is very wise, and I am pretty sure that she is more unhappy about this move than I am.  Still, she was able to share with me her experience as a young newlywed who had moved so very far away from home.  She was sad and lonely and cried every day for at least six months.  But, THERE WAS NOWHERE ELSE SHE WANTED TO BE.  It was tough being so far away, but she would not have had it any other way.  This is exactly how I feel.  Yes, this is hard, but there is still nowhere I would rather be.   

Second, a dear friend made a very casual comment about motherhood; sometimes, watching our children bloom and flourish IS enough.  

She is so right and I am thrilled and extremely proud of the growth and success my children are having.  They are ALL doing beautifully.  None of them would return to Zionsville.  NOT ONE.  Incredible.

And lastly, my forever friend and I had a deeper conversation about the way God sometimes chooses to work in our lives.  I have a tendency to imagine and hold on to the way I think things should look.  God has blessed and continues to bless our family but it rarely looks the way I expected.  It is not in the pretty little package that I envisioned, but that is okay.  Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross wasn't a pretty little package either, was it?

I AM sad and lonely and homesick.  But, I am also CONFIDENT that I will adjust.   

I am EXCITED about the growth and maturity I am seeing in my kids that I wasn’t seeing in Zionsville.  

And, I am EXPECTANT and HOPEFUL about the ways that God is going to use this move to continue making me more like Jesus.   

I hope you can all rest a bit easier now.  

Phil 1:6 (The Message) There has never been the slightest doubt in my mind that the God who started this great work in you would keep at it and bring it to a flourishing finish on the very day Christ Jesus appears.